An Appetite for Love Page 64

  “I’m going to take my wife to bed,” said a man to Thad’s left and they all laughed.

  That was one that every last man could agree on. Women had been a big focus of the talks they’d had in the quieter days of the siege. Wives, women they hoped to make wives of, loves lost, loves they hoped to find again when they finally got home to England again.

  Thaddeus hadn’t had a story to tell. He’d grown up on a small farm and there hadn’t been many women out his way. His new friends in the Loyal North Lancashire Regiment had assured him that it didn’t matter. He’d come back a war hero, and after all, times were changing. Wealthy women weren’t as far out of reach as they had been.

  He wasn’t sure he wanted a wealthy woman. And if the tide didn’t turn when General French showed up, he probably wouldn’t have any woman, wealthy or not. They all knew that this was it.

  He heard the scream of horses and looked out. General French and his mounted cavalry were plowing through the Boer resistance.

  The man to his left, the one who planned to take his wife to bed, whooped and waved his cap over his head. “There he is! Cutting through like a tornado!”

  He was. Thad’s heart began to thump with excitement rather than fear for the first time in a long time. They were going to make it. They were going to make it out alive!

  He followed his regiment to the next position. All he remembered hearing was the sharp crack of the Long Tom. Then he went down in a haze of pain and sudden, deafening, silence.

  Chapter Two:

  Molly shivered in the cold air, pulling her nursing cape around her more tightly. Hannah had said she needed a break, but she hadn’t wanted to go to the canteen for coffee. Instead, her friend had pushed outside. Now she stood there breathing in lungfuls of fresh air almost hungrily.

  Molly put her hand on Hannah’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear about Thomas. You know you did everything you could.”

  Hannah shook her head. “Of course I know that,” she said. “But that’s not the point. Just because I did everything I could do, doesn’t mean that a good man didn’t just lose his life.” She clenched her fists. “Second war. Didn’t they learn anything from the first? We don’t have the resources!” With an effort, she forced the volume down. She was dangerously close to shouting. “We don’t have the resources or the men. How many more of them are supposed to die for this?”

  Molly pulled the cape even tighter. She didn’t have any answers. She treated the men who came in on the red cross trains and ambulances, too. She knew Hannah’s frustration intimately. She’d experienced it herself, countless times.

  Infection was the enemy and it was rampant. Most of the soldiers were in remote locations and the few members of medical staff provided to them were undersupplied. The Red Cross sent out bags of medical supplies to the field medics, but it wasn’t enough. Molly wondered if anything they could do would ever be enough. Usually, by the time the men were relieved and put on the train the infection had started. By the time they got to the hospital, it was often too late.

  She couldn’t count how many times she’d pulled the white sheets up over a man’s face. More than she’d thought possible. How could there be any men left?

  “At least they get to say that they’re heroes.” Hannah’s voice was as brittle as the air around them. “Cold comfort when the surgeons are sawing off the pieces--”

  Molly made an involuntary gesture for Hannah to stop and silence fell over them again.

  “I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.

  “No,” Hannah said. “I know that you don’t like to hear about that part.”

  “I don’t,” Molly admitted. “But it’s time I got used to it. It...happens.” It happened more than she wanted to think about. The first time she’d attempted to assist, she’d become so light headed that she’d had to call in a replacement nurse and leave the room.

  She was a very competent nurse. More than competent, actually, but amputations were her Achilles heel. She couldn’t imagine going to sleep and waking up with a part of one’s own body missing.

  “Look,” Hannah said. “There’s the unit from Kimberley. Did you hear that the siege was broken?”

  “No,” Molly said, her heart lightening slightly. “I haven’t heard much news today.”

  “I hear that General French rode in like a tornado,” Hannah said. “He saved some. Now the rest are up to us.”

  People began to rush around, readying rooms, examining the men to see who was worst off, surgeons and doctors barking orders that the nurses followed coolly. Molly, busy with her own patient, saw a man wheeled by on a stretcher. He was very tall and his dark hair flopped forward onto his forehead. The leg of his drab uniform was soaked with blood. He was pale and unconscious. Her heartbeat increased slightly, but she didn’t know why.

  She heard his room number called to another nurse and then turned back to her own patient. “I can stop the bleeding, but he’ll need to go to surgery,” she said crisply. “The bullet will have to come out.”

  Molly put her hand on the soldier's shoulder and gave him a smile. “We’ll get you something for the pain. Welcome home.”

  He clasped her hand in his briefly and gave her all the smile that he could manage through the pain. She knew that look well. She’d seen enough bravery through the pain to last her a lifetime.

  Chapter Three:

  Thad woke up with his head pounding. When he raised his hands to it, something tugged in his arm. He opened his eyes, but only a slit. It hurt too much to do more. There was an I.V in his left arm.

  He glanced around the room, gritting his teeth so that he didn’t groan out loud from the pain of moving. He had no idea where he was, but the view outside his window didn’t suit the Kimberley landscape. So where was he? And how had he gotten there without knowing it?

  A woman bustled in and checked something.

  “Where...” Thad’s voice sounded rusty. He cleared his throat and tried to wet his lips. His mouth was so dry that he didn’t accomplish much. “Where am I?”

  “The hospital,” she said.

  “I know that,” he said, trying very hard not to sound impatient. “I was at Kimberley.”

  “It’s a Red Cross hospital,” she said. “You need to rest.”

  “No,” Thad said. “I need to know where the rest of my unit is.”

  “Unit?” she looked at him as if she’d never heard the word.

  “Yes,” he said, struggling to sit up in spite of the pain in his head and the needle in his arm. “I was at Kimberley and I’d like to know how I got here and where the other men are!”

  “You need to rest,” she repeated.

  “I will not rest until you answer my questions.” Were they all dead? No baths, no meals, no women? Had they been rescued for nothing? “I also want to know what’s wrong with me.”

  “I...” She looked a little frightened now. She was young, he noticed, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Why was she there if she didn’t know anything about what was wrong with him? “I’m not sure. But you need to rest.”

  “I don’t want to bloody rest!” he shouted. “And if you can’t tell me what’s wrong with me and where my regiment is, then get me a damned nurse that can!”

  She shrank back, away from him. “Sir, please, you need to calm down.”

  Thad yanked the covers back, sitting up so fast that his head spun and then hurt so badly that he was afraid his skull would split in two. He wanted to get up, but he noticed the bandages swathing his right leg from the knee down. “Get me a damned wheelchair so I can find a damned doctor who knows what he’s doing!” he shouted.

  The nurse started to speak, but nothing came out. How young was she, anyway? Unreasonable anger overtook him as tears filled her eyes.

  “Don’t just stand there!” he went on. “Go and get me--”

  “I’ll take care of it, Nell.” A cool voice said from behind him. “Run on and collect yourself.”

  Seconds later, h
e found himself pushed back down onto his bed by a pair of firm hands. “Stop shouting,” the woman said in a tone that brooked no argument, and he did.

  Chapter Four:

  Molly had heard the shouting all the way down the hall. Poor Nell. It was only her second day. She was so timid that Molly wondered if she’d ever come back. She certainly hoped so. They were short handed enough without nurses quitting on them.

  She’d come in fully expecting to shout a belligerent patient down, but the moment she’d put her hands on his chest, he’d stopped talking. Her hands were still there, she realized. She also realized who this was. He wasn’t as pale as he had been that day. He was tanned lightly from spending so much time outside. His firm, square jaw was a little rough with stubble, but not as much as some men’s would have been after so many days. There’d been no danger of forgetting him anyway. The handsome soldier who’d been unconscious when they’d wheeled him in two nights ago

  Molly pulled her hands away, but not before she’d taken notice of how smooth his skin was and how firm the muscles of his chest were. He was cold and slightly clammy, but that was probably just fear. She didn’t find fear to be something a person should be ashamed of. In her eyes, it was perfectly reasonable. Fear kept a person from being foolish. Maybe if there were more fear, there would be fewer wars.

  Not very many men saw the logic in her statements, but she held out hope that maybe her little speeches would make a difference somehow.

  “Now,” she said. “If you can promise me that you’ll remain calm and in your bed, I’ll go and get your chart.”

  He cleared his throat. “Thank you. And...a glass of water?”

  “I’ll do what I can.”

  She walked down the hall, patting Nell briefly on the shoulder and giving her an encouraging smile. Molly realized that she hadn’t asked him his name. She had to find the chart by room number.

  Bennett was the name scrawled across the folder. She opened it and flicked through the information. A concussion. Worries that his ribs might be bruised...she doubted that, with the way he’d been moving around. She suddenly remembered seeing the lean muscles of his back sliding under his tanned skin and cleared her throat, shaking her head slightly. What was she thinking of?

  A glance down at the bottom of his chart helped pull her mind away from his looks. He’d been shot in the leg and there were concerns of infection. It had been been hours before the wound had been properly cleaned because the medic had been trying to help men who were even more seriously injured. Apparently there had only been one medic stationed at Kimberley when the siege began. Molly chewed her lip for a moment, then squared her shoulders and went back into his room.

  He’d pulled the covers back up in her absence and he was lying very still with his hands clasped to either side of his head. She realized that she’d forgotten his drink and waved Nell toward her, asking her for a small cup of water. “Or some ice, if you can get it.”

  Nell hurried away and Molly stepped into the room. “Mr. Bennett?”

  He lowered his hands and moved to sit up.

  “No need,” she said with a small smile. “We don’t stand on ceremony here.”

  Thad lowered his head to the pillow behind him. It was a little flat, but it was better than nothing. He’d already had plenty of nothing while he was at Kimberley, she knew.

  “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment as she opened his chart again. “For shouting.”

  “It’s not me you owe that apology to,” Molly said gently. “It’s Nell.”

  “I’ll be sure to tell her,” he said earnestly. “If I haven’t frightened her away for good.”

  She smiled again. “Nurses are resilient people, Mr. Bennett.”

  Just as she spoke, Nell stepped into the room with a cup of ice. Thaddeus took it, but before he even took a piece, he said, “I’m sorry for shouting at you. It wasn’t right of me.”

  Her whole face blushed red as the sunset and she stammered out that it was all right before turning on her heel and heading out of the room. Thad looked chagrined.

  “I don’t know if I did much good,” he said, running one hand over his hair, making it stand up in an unruly way.

  Molly tightened her grip on the chart to keep from fixing it for him. That wasn’t in her nursing duties after all. She had to go over the chart with him. There was no avoiding it.

  “All right,” she said, looking down at the chart. “According to this, Mr. Bennett--”

  “Please,” he said, interrupting her. “My name is Thaddeus. Most people call me Thad.”

  “Thaddeus,” she repeated, liking the way the name sounded. “Very well.” She held out her hand. “I’m Molly Alexander.”

  Chapter Five:

  As he took her small hand in his, he felt a new sensation. It wasn’t pain. He really noticed for the first time how pretty she was.

  She had a petite, fine boned figure, almost like something out of his mother’s china cabinet. But there was a deep reserve of strength in those wide hazel eyes. He’d seen the same look in the eyes of the men he’d fought beside. The ones who never lost their cool, no matter what turns the battles took. Of course, it was prettier on her. She had a thick blonde braid pulled over one shoulder and the typical long white dress and apron did a lot for her slight figure.

  Thad suddenly realized how filthy he was. Her skin was so clean. He was still covered in the godawful dust from the battlefield. There was mud under his nails and he was sure that his face was no better. He let go of her hand and shook a piece of ice into his mouth.

  He couldn’t hold back a groan of pleasure as it hit his parched tongue and began to melt. There’d been no ice in Kimberley. He crunched down on the piece in his mouth and took a few more. Then the nurse reached out and took the cup from him.

  “Not too much at once,” she said. “You’ve been unconscious for a while.”

  “How long?” he asked, worried suddenly.

  “Almost three days,” she said, glancing at his chart.

  “Oh.” Thad was palpably relieved. In response to her questioning look, he said, “I was afraid you were going to tell me that it was 1910.”

  Molly laughed, which pleased him. “No, nothing so dramatic,” she said. “Just a few days rest.” Then she cleared her throat and said, “Now, if you’d like, I can go over your chart with you.”

  Her hazel eyes had darkened and become more serious. Thad nodded, suddenly worried about what she might tell him.

  “You had a concussion,” Molly began. “Which explains the pain in your head. That will ease over time. They were concerned about bruising on your ribs, but from the way you were moving around earlier--”

  He cleared his throat and glanced down. “My ribs don’t hurt.”

  She offered a quick grin, flashing a dimple in her left cheek. “I thought not.” Then she took a deep breath and said, “You were shot in the leg.”

  He nodded. He thought that he vaguely remembered feeling a hot pain in his calf just before it had all gone dark.

  “Not the worst place in the world to take a bullet,” he said, partly because he really believed it and partly because he wanted her to see that he could keep a stiff upper lip.

  “No,” Molly said gently. “It’s not. But there may be complications.”

  Thad’s hands went tighter on the sheets. “What kind of complications?”

  “The bullet was there for a long time,” she said. “There’s a type of lubricant that the Boer use to pack their rifles that can cause a lot of problems in wounds. There’s also how long it took to get the wound properly cleaned. There’s...” She swallowed and forced her voice to stay steady. “There’s a chance that we won’t be able to contain the infection and the lower part of your leg will have to be removed.”

  Removed? His leg? He stared at her. He hadn’t even thought of that possibility. He’d always assumed that if a limb needed to be removed it had to be done quickly. Now he just had to wait around for them to let him know if
he was going to be whole for the rest of his life?

  “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I know it’s a lot to think about. I have a few other patients to check on, so I’ll leave you for now.” This was no time for news of his regiment, even if the news wasn’t awful.

  Thad managed a nod and she got to her feet. Before she left, she put her hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at her, but she didn’t speak, just left her warm hand there for a moment. He liked the feel of her soft skin against his. Even somewhere as innocent as his shoulder.

  However, when the door closed behind her, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of woman would be interested in him if he was missing a piece of his body. His headache had raged back to the front of his skull and he pressed his fingers against his eyes, holding them there until little spots of light danced like sparks in the darkness he’d created.

  The hospital was cold compared the climate he’d just come from, so he pulled the blankets tighter around him. The sheets, though they were clean, weren’t exactly snow white. He wondered how many other soldiers had slept on them, bled on them, lost limbs in this very bed.

  His chest got tight and his head ached even more. Finishing the cup of ice, Thad put his arm over his eyes to shut out the late afternoon sun and forced himself to go to sleep. Though he tried to keep her out of his mind, Molly’s face was the last thing he saw before sleep claimed him...and it was more comforting than he wanted to admit.

  Chapter Six:

  As she walked down the hall to replace Thaddeus Bennett’s chart, Molly saw Doctor Silas at the other end of the hall.

  “Hello, Molly,” he said, walking up to meet her as she slid the file back into its section. “We haven’t seen much of each other lately.”